Me: I miss you so much, Ants – sometimes it is like this silent, piercing, explosive shriek inside me and I can hardly bear the physical palpitating pain of it.
Anthony: Pull yourself together, Jules – you can do it.
Me: All this other wonderful stuff is happening but the joy I should be feeling is clouded over a bit by grief; it has now been 455 days since you died.
Anthony: 456 days to be exact.
Me: Are you kidding? Is there a time difference in Heaven?
Anthony: We do live in Western Australia, Jules.
Me: Was that a deliberate faux pas, Ants? You don’t live here anymore.
Anthony: I am in the air around the Aga.
Me: Oh shut up! Now I know you are kidding around and I guess that is what is the most painful thing for me – you had had so many TIAs but you always woke up again. When you did die, I thought for a moment that you just might be pretending.
Anthony: I am so sorry, Jules.
Me: Yeah, you did do the death thing brutally fast. I am glad for you but even after all of these long, longing, days, I am still a bit shocked at how fast I lost you.
Anthony: I miss you too, my beautiful girl.
Me: I will tell you more about your headstone tomorrow; it is absolutely perfect!
Anthony: I love you, Jules.
